Sometimes despite our best intentions to raise difficult issues gently, things can escalate. Arguments can quickly become stressful and unproductive, especially when we're stuck in painfully familiar patterns. Most of us don't get taught how to deal with horrible...
Is there something going on in your relationship that's bothering you? Are you unsure how to address it? Firstly, by looking for a way to talk about it, you're doing the right thing. John Gottman has been doing research with couples for 40 years, and he has found that...
Idealism vs. pragmatism: how people and cultures can heal and grow “Should” One of the first things they teach trainee therapists to look out for is the word “should”. When you sit with people who are struggling, you hear it a lot. “I know I should call my parents...
Different Parenting Styles And Your Relationship Different parenting styles often lead to conflict between couples. Let's look at some of the typical differences between parents, and how to approach them in ways which keep everyone feeling as happy and close as...
"The standard narrative of sexual desire is that it just appears - you’re sitting at lunch or walking down the street, maybe you see a sexy person or think a sexy thought, and pow! you’re saying to yourself, 'I would like some sex'... But some people find they begin...
The Mental Load: The Fantasy “Girls are raised to romanticise taking on the mental load.” Elizabeth Earnshaw For the most part in our culture, girls are brought up to romanticise both the remembering and executing of the tasks that keep a family going. Look at...
Here’s a typical situation that happens in many couples after they have children. (I’ve used the pronouns for the most common pattern in straight couples, but this happens in other ways too.) Sex After Kids: Her Experience The kids take up most of her energy.She gets...
Sharing Parenting Responsibilities Did you go into parenthood planning, expecting, or at least hoping for a balanced partnership, with the two of you sharing parenting responsibilities equally? Our generation wants to leave behind the gender roles of old and do...
Sex in marriage and long-term relationships can easily become routine if it happens at all, especially after kids come along. Let’s look at why routine sex in marriage is so common, and what you can do to keep the spark in your connection. Sex In Marriage: How...
Have you ever heard that therapists are only interested in your past? This is a common misconception. Some therapists are particularly interested in in how your past impacts who you are today. My approach takes a balanced view, giving equal importance to all things...
Sex After Parenthood - It’s Good For You And Your Relationship Let's talk about sex after parenthood. Firstly let's remember that good sex is good for you. It's good for each of you as individuals, and it's good for your relationship. If you and your partner...
According to the organisers, International Men’s Day is a day to celebrate the value men bring to the world, their families, and communities. So if you have a man in your life, please let him know how much he means to you today.
What Is The Secret To A Strong Relationship With Your Partner? Knowing Yourself! Want to know the secret to a strong and lasting relationship with your partner? It has to start with you knowing yourself. Firstly you need to be able to recognise your emotions...
Relationship Changes After Parenthood Becoming a parent is a big deal. It usually changes us, and often in ways we don’t expect. This can lead to relationship changes after parenthood that can be really unsettling. We're all used to our various roles, like...
Have you been wondering how to deal with resentment towards your partner? If so, you’re not alone. Resentment is a huge issue in relationships, especially after we have kids. When I asked on Instagram, 96% of you said you struggle with feeling resentful. Bringing up...
Help The Uyghur People Do you know what’s been happening to the Uyghur people in China? Uyghurs are ethnically and culturally Turkic people. They live in the area of Central Asia commonly known as East Turkistan. East Turkistan has effectively been occupied by...
The transition to life as parents puts huge pressure on couples. It's very common to feel resentment towards your partner, especially if your life has changed more than theirs. In fact when I asked on Instagram, 96% of you said you struggle with resentment. So is it...
The time after a baby arrives is really special. And it can also be challenging, for both mothers and fathers. It's big transition time for each of you personally, as well as for your relationship. To feel the best you can through this time, it's helpful to think...
Top 10 Tips For A Happy Relationship After Kids Based on The Gottman Institute’s incredible research into what really makes for lasting, satisfying relationships, here are my top ten tips for a happy relationship after kids. 1. Never think you’ve...
Do you ever get snappy with your partner? Or ignore them altogether when they speak to you? How we respond to our partners in the smallest, everyday moments has a big impact over the long term. A Small Habit With A Big Impact Picture the scene: your partner...
Roots of Resentment - Shared Responsibilities I asked you on Instagram what your partner did that left you feeling resentful. And it started a really helpful discussion about how resentment builds in a relationship. Guess what? The mental load and and how you...
