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Hello, I’m Catherine Topham Sly. 

I’m a therapist, writer, and speaker. 

Relationships are my thing. 

Maybe you’re reading this because you’re having trouble with yours?

I’m glad you’ve found your way here, and I would love to see how I can help. 

I specialise in helping couples to reconnect after they have kids, and stay close for years to come.

Usually that means improving communication, finding a path to understanding each other better, and enjoying more intimacy.

I work with individuals and couples, online and in my home town of Brighton and Hove, on the south coast of England.

I’m a bit of a geek, and all of my work is grounded in years of research into what makes a healthy, satisfying relationship. 

Are you ready to get back to enjoying yours?

 

Get in touch

Work With Me 121

Are you looking for a one-off injection of insight? Or perhaps you’re ready to do some deeper work on your relationship? Either way, I can help.

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Back In The Sack

Download my sex after kids workbook and break the patterns that are blocking you from enjoying physical and emotional intimacy.

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Courses

Love In Lockdown is a self-paced online course packed full of information about how you can stop stress from destroying your relationship.

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How To Protect Your Relationship Against The Real Causes Of Separation And Divorce

How To Protect Your Relationship Every couple disagrees. And it’s normal for more of those disagreements to turn onto arguments once we have children and have to make so many more joint decisions. The success of your relationship depends on how you approach those...
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Family Rituals – They’re Not Just For Christmas!

Family Rituals Christmas is coming! For those of us who celebrate, that probably means lots of family rituals, like choosing and decorating a tree, wrapping and exchanging presents, and enjoying lots of festive foods and drink. Family rituals provide us with a sense...
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How To Talk To Your Partner About Going To Couples Counselling

Couples counselling is amazing, and the thing I hear most often about it is “I wish we’d gone sooner!” But asking for help isn’t always easy, and the prospect of inviting a stranger into our most private conversations can feel quite daunting. It’s very common for one partner to be ready to call a counsellor while the other is still unsure about it. So if you’re wondering how to get your partner to go to couples counselling, you’re not alone. Here are a few pointers to help you if you’ve been struggling with how to get your partner to go to couples counselling.

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Emotions Are Messengers About Needs

My mission is to support you to make the changes you need in order to feel better – whether that’s in your relationship with yourself, your partner, or other important figures in your life.

You might be surprised to hear that a big part of what’s holding you back from getting what you want and need is probably your relationship with your emotions.

That’s because our emotions are an incredible source of information about’s working for us, and what isn’t.

Western culture tends to separate the heart and mind, or emotions and thoughts. And it often values rational thought over the power of our feelings and intuition.

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So many things were helpful

So many things were helpful that it is hard to choose just one. Most helpful was probably how compassionate you were towards me. This slowly helped me shift the way that I relate to myself. Counselling felt like a very safe and warm space, in which I could  look at myself with more kindness and allow myself to express feelings and needs. This has helped me personally as well as making me more open in my relationships with other people, privately and at work. Thank you Catherine. The two years with you have meant a lot to me and have changed me in many ways.

October 2020

I could not have asked for a better independent witness to my story

I could not have asked for a better independent witness to my story than Catherine. As she joined me on my journey she was kind and supportive. Encouraging me to see things in a different light. I will probably return at some stage; Catherine's instinctive approach and skill of picking out key elements in my narrative helped me make sense of things at this difficult time for me. Thank you. Everything was clear & straight forward. Which is no mean feat when you are operating in a global pandemic!!

August 2020

Catherine always remained calm and collected

Catherine always remained calm and collected even during times filled with conflict in couples therapy. She managed to bring back my then boyfriend to a calmer state and I felt like she was standing up for me when I couldn't. I felt like I had a good bond with her and trusted her so that I could open up in front of her.

August 2020

I feel I am in a very different place

One of the most useful things about going to counselling was learning so much about myself. I feel I am in a very different place from when I first started and I owe it to the support and help which Catherine offered. I will not rule out returning if I feel I need to, but for now I feel happy with the place I am in.

July 2019

I really found the whole experience really helpful

[What was most helpful about your counselling?] “Having a different perspective on my situation and what I was going through. Talking through how I was feeling and then being directed by Catherine to look at things in a different way and make connections to other parts of my life and relationships helped to make sense of things. I really found the whole experience really helpful and exactly what I needed at the point I was at. Thank you for your help.

June 2018

She helped me through the fog of self doubt

Catherine describes herself as a demystifier – and she is. But not just of psychobabble. She helped me through the fog of self doubt, delusion, depression that clouded me in a difficult period of my life. And in place of fog she helped install the ropes and tackle I needed to climb onto dry land, out from the cold, and find a seat back by the fire. But equally, she possesses a superpower (and a useful one for a therapist): she has an off-the-chart ability to listen. To make you hear her listening, to adjust the quality of silence you sometimes need to say what you didn’t know you were going to say, to make you feel heard. Her empathy is palpable; yet I’ve never once felt patronised. Most extraordinary is that she does all this without judgement or prejudice, but with sincerity and good humour. It’s pretty much the perfect combination and I can’t think of anybody who wouldn’t benefit from talking to Catherine. And I can’t thank her enough.

January 2018

You were excellent

Thanks for all your help. I will be in touch if I need to in the future. You were excellent.

November 2017

Catherine was wise and supportive

Catherine was wise and supportive, picking out elements of my story and helping me see things in a different way. I will probably return at some stage; Catherine has been very kind and helpful at a difficult time in my life.

August 2017

The help you’ve given me has been invaluable

I just want to say a huge thank you for the past year. The help you’ve given me has been invaluable and I’ve learnt so much about myself, my past, and my relationship to the wider world. Your guidance and help will stand to me for the rest of my life and I’ve made so many positive changes in the past year, a lot of which I feel I owe to you. Thank you so much for everything.

May 2017

Thank you

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your help and understanding.

January 2017