About Catherine, Relationships After Kids Expert Therapist & Coach

relationship coaching therapy

About Catherine

Relationship therapist, coach, writer, speaker, and married mum of two

I’m Catherine Topham Sly, and I help people build happier, more connected relationships – with their partners, their families, and themselves.

As a BACP accredited relationship therapist and coach, I support individuals and couples through the messy, beautiful, often-challenging terrain of life after kids. Whether I’m offering in-depth therapy, coaching clients through the Love Happy Live Free programme, or speaking about the emotional load and intimacy after children, my aim is the same: to help you feel more understood, more empowered, and more connected – to yourself and to the people you love.

Long-term relationships don’t succeed on luck. They’re built on understanding, self-awareness, and the willingness to do the work – even when it’s hard. And I know from both lived experience and clinical training that we can learn how to do that work in a way that actually brings us closer.

But I didn’t always know this.

Let me tell you how I got here.

How I Got Here

 

I loved my husband, and we were in a pretty strong place before having children. Our relationship was important to me, and I’d always actively prioritised it. We usually got on well – and when we didn’t, we talked things through.

We survived having one baby, then another – all while renovating our first house and starting our businesses. Then we moved, and took on a bigger project. And under the stress, with two little kids, the cracks started to show.

Our ways of coping with the pressure were so different. I just wanted to talk about it – to feel heard and understood, to hear, “I know, it’s hard.” But the more I complained, the worse he felt, and the less he seemed to be there for me. Nothing makes a husband more miserable than an unhappy wife. But all I could see was him withdrawing, or getting angry about the fuss I was making.

I’ll never forget the moment when I realised something had to change. We were late for school, and my daughter’s shoe had gone missing – again. I totally lost it. I really shouted. I scared my little girls. And I had a flashback to a similar moment in my own childhood.

Holding back tears on the way home from the school run, I made a commitment. My children weren’t going to bear the brunt of the resentment I felt towards their dad. I was the adult. It was my responsibility to create a loving, peaceful, secure environment for them to grow up in.

I wish I could tell you everything changed that day. But it was more complicated than that.

I tried everything I could find in every relationship book I could get my hands on. I was determined – maybe a little stubborn – and I knew happiness was almost within reach. I just couldn’t let go of the belief that things could be better.

And eventually, they were.

The turning point was when I truly understood that my relationship with myself was the foundation for every other relationship in my life. When I stopped trying to control or fix things from the outside in – and started taking radical responsibility for my own world.

I had to learn to love myself first – and I mean love the verb. To treat myself with the same compassion, kindness, and generosity I craved. To listen to my emotions, but not act them out. To take responsibility for how I show up. To recognise that I teach people how to treat me by what I accept, and what I don’t.

That’s when everything started to shift – in me, and in us.

Today, our relationship isn’t perfect – no relationship is. But it’s strong, peaceful, and real. We share the load like a team, without keeping score. We laugh more. We argue less – and when we do, we repair quickly. We both know how to rest. We’re always making plans. And maybe most importantly, we both feel free to be fully ourselves, safe in the knowledge that we’re loved, understood, and supported – even when things get hard.

Why I Do This Work

 

That transformation wasn’t just personal – it reshaped my whole professional path too.

I’d already started training as a therapist when my daughters were little. In fact, I began my counselling diploma when my eldest had just turned three and my youngest was eight months old – just weaning, still waking in the night. The course leader warned me it was going to be intense, but I was up for the challenge.

Becoming a therapist during the early years of motherhood was a powerful experience. As I trained, I noticed how little we talk about what becoming parents actually does to a relationship – especially when it comes to the emotional load, communication breakdowns, and the slow drift of disconnection.

So I started talking about it. At first, on Instagram. Then in workshops, talks, and articles. And most of all, in the therapy room – where I found more and more of my clients were struggling with exactly these challenges.

Couples who loved each other, but felt stuck. Women who felt like they were the emotional glue holding everything together. Parents trying to do it all – and losing themselves in the process.

about Catherine Topham Sly

It became clear: relationships after kids need their own kind of support. And that’s what I’ve spent the last decade specialising in.

If this sounds familiar, and you’re ready to get support that fits real life after kids…

Therapy, Coaching, and What It’s Like to Work With Me

 

I’ve supported hundreds of individuals and couples to break painful patterns, rediscover their connection, and build the kind of home life they want for themselves and their kids.

Some clients work with me through weekly therapy, using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) – the most well-researched and effective model for couples work – to understand the deeper emotional dynamics driving their conflict and distance. Others complete Love Happy Live Free, my relationship coaching programme, designed to guide you step-by-step through the mindset, skills, and habits that make love after kids not just possible, but deeply fulfilling.

Whichever path is right for you, you’ll find the same things here:

  • A non-judgemental space to explore what’s really going on
  • Practical tools you can use straight away
  • A sense of clarity and hope about what’s possible for you

Because this work isn’t about blame.

It’s about understanding. And then deciding what you want to do with that understanding.

My Background and Experience

 

Before becoming a therapist, I worked at a communications consultancy, managing people and projects, and developing my listening skills as a market research focus group facilitator and trainer. My academic background is in linguistics, with a focus on psycholinguistics and sociolinguistics: what we say, how we say it, and what it reveals about our inner world and relationships.

But it was through my own life and training that I found what really lit me up: helping people talk about the things that truly matter, with more honesty, kindness, and clarity than they ever have before.

Since qualifying in 2014, I’ve gone on to train extensively in couples work, particularly in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). I’m an accredited member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), and a registered member of the International Centre for Excellence in EFT (ICEEFT).

I’ve worked in private practice since 2016, and also speak and write regularly about relationships, emotional labour, intimacy, and love after kids. I’m passionate about making this work more accessible, less clinical, and more human.

Want to know more about how I can support you?

Explore My Work

 

Whether you’re looking for personal support or want to bring this message to a wider audience, here’s where to start:

  • Work With Me Solo — for individuals who are ready to create change, with or without their partner
  • Work With Me Together — for couples who want to reconnect and build a stronger partnership
  • Media & Speaking — for event organisers, journalists or podcast hosts
  • Contact Me — if you’re not sure which option is right, I’m happy to help

When you’re ready, I’m here.

2025 – Core Skills (Extended) Training in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (Stage 1), BEFT

2023 – Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy for Attachment Trauma, PESI UK

2022 – Externship in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, International Centre for Excellence in EFT

2019 – Certificate in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, EFT International School

2017-2018 – Certificate in Clinical Supervison, The Rock Clinic

2017 – Certificate in Working with Couples, The Link Centre

2014 – Transactional Analysis 101 Certificate, Northbrook College

2012-2014 – Postgraduate Diploma in Counselling and Therapy, Northbrook College

2011 – NCFE Level 2 Award in Helping Skills, City College Brighton and Hove

2011 – CPCAB Level 2 Award in Introduction to Counselling Skills, Varndean College

2003-2006 – BA Hons Linguistics (2:1), University of Sussex

2016-Present – Counsellor in private practice, Insight & Connection (formerly Hove Counselling & Therapy)

2013-2018 – Counsellor, Rock Clinic Association, Brighton

2006-2010 – Workshop facilitator and trainer, Space Doctors, Brighton

2022 – Registered member of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy

2018 – Accredited member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy

2016 – Registered Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy

Really good value for money

I felt that my session was really good value for money because Catherine shared models of relationships, gave me recommendations for further therapy, gave me the space to talk, challenged (in a positive way) my position so that I could reflect and she also got me thinking about the areas that I would benefit from working on. Overall, I felt that she held a very effective clinical space, whilst also creating feelings of warmth and understanding. 

One-off Coaching Session, November 2020

Definitely go for it

 

What would you tell someone else who was considering working with Catherine?

Definitely go for it; Catherine is very professional and very good at what she does.

One-off Coaching Session, November 2020

I got more out of that one hour than I expected

What would you tell someone else who was considering working with Catherine?

She'll help "calm the crazy" as I like to say. Motherhood and marriage is messy and amazing and hard. It's such a huge life transition and so little is discussed around it. Catherine really validated my experience and gave me some great advice.

I got more out of that one hour than I expected. I really appreciated it. It made me want to sign up with her as my therapist!

One-off Coaching Session, February 2021

Practical examples of things to try

What was most helpful about working with Catherine?

Normalising patterns and behaviour that I am experiencing within my relationship currently. Offering hope that things can improve, giving me practical examples of things to try and tweak over the next few weeks. Giving me the permission to continue on my growth journey without expecting my partner to be on the same path or feeling responsible for his growth and overall life satisfaction. Also being encouraged to write about some of the topics you wanted to cover on the call in as much detail as you wanted was really liberating. Catherine took great care in digesting my information and usefully played it back to me during out session. She also sent many useful resources afterwards which I have been able to digest at my own pace.

One-off Coaching Call, March 2021

So many things were helpful

So many things were helpful that it is hard to choose just one. Most helpful was probably how compassionate you were towards me. This slowly helped me shift the way that I relate to myself. Counselling felt like a very safe and warm space, in which I could  look at myself with more kindness and allow myself to express feelings and needs. This has helped me personally as well as making me more open in my relationships with other people, privately and at work. Thank you Catherine. The two years with you have meant a lot to me and have changed me in many ways.

Individual Therapy, October 2020

I could not have asked for a better independent witness to my story

I could not have asked for a better independent witness to my story than Catherine. As she joined me on my journey she was kind and supportive. Encouraging me to see things in a different light. I will probably return at some stage; Catherine's instinctive approach and skill of picking out key elements in my narrative helped me make sense of things at this difficult time for me. Thank you. Everything was clear & straight forward. Which is no mean feat when you are operating in a global pandemic!!

Individual Therapy, August 2020

Her manner was calm and comforting

What made you decide to book a call with Catherine?

Her content on Instagram really resonated with me in terms of what I was going through with my partner. On her stories her manner was calm and comforting. She had a sense of quiet confidence about her and pragmatism in the way she approached different topics.

One-off Coaching Call, March 2021

Catherine is pragmatic, considerate, practical

Catherine is pragmatic, considerate, practical. She puts you at ease, listens and is what she preaches curiously compassionate 😉 She takes all the potential shame or guilt around asking for help out of the equation and provides you with so many practical and theoretical (if you want that too) tips and advice.

One-off Coaching Call, March 2021

Catherine always remained calm and collected

Catherine always remained calm and collected even during times filled with conflict in couples therapy. She managed to bring back my then boyfriend to a calmer state and I felt like she was standing up for me when I couldn't. I felt like I had a good bond with her and trusted her so that I could open up in front of her.

Couples Therapy, August 2020

I feel I am in a very different place

One of the most useful things about going to counselling was learning so much about myself. I feel I am in a very different place from when I first started and I owe it to the support and help which Catherine offered. I will not rule out returning if I feel I need to, but for now I feel happy with the place I am in.

Individual Therapy, July 2019

Such a calming force

[Catherine] was such a calming force, I felt very supported, she pointed out a few things I should look at, gave a book recommendation, she reframed some of the issues I had swirling around in my head, and she was able to bring the conversation to really nice ending point.

One-off Coaching Session, February 2021

I really found the whole experience really helpful

What was most helpful about your counselling?

Having a different perspective on my situation and what I was going through. Talking through how I was feeling and then being directed by Catherine to look at things in a different way and make connections to other parts of my life and relationships helped to make sense of things. I really found the whole experience really helpful and exactly what I needed at the point I was at. Thank you for your help.

Individual Therapy, June 2018

You were excellent

Thanks for all your help. I will be in touch if I need to in the future. You were excellent.

Couples Therapy, November 2017

I felt extremely well heard and held

What was most helpful about working with Catherine?

The clarity of her questions, including when completing the questionnaire before the session. Catherine's style of covering the points that I raised in a direct but sensitive way; I felt extremely well heard and held.

One-off Coaching Session, November 2020

Catherine was wise and supportive

Catherine was wise and supportive, picking out elements of my story and helping me see things in a different way. I will probably return at some stage; Catherine has been very kind and helpful at a difficult time in my life.

Individual Therapy, August 2017

She helped me through the fog of self doubt

Catherine describes herself as a demystifier – and she is. But not just of psychobabble. She helped me through the fog of self doubt, delusion, depression that clouded me in a difficult period of my life. And in place of fog she helped install the ropes and tackle I needed to climb onto dry land, out from the cold, and find a seat back by the fire. But equally, she possesses a superpower (and a useful one for a therapist): she has an off-the-chart ability to listen. To make you hear her listening, to adjust the quality of silence you sometimes need to say what you didn’t know you were going to say, to make you feel heard. Her empathy is palpable; yet I’ve never once felt patronised. Most extraordinary is that she does all this without judgement or prejudice, but with sincerity and good humour. It’s pretty much the perfect combination and I can’t think of anybody who wouldn’t benefit from talking to Catherine. And I can’t thank her enough.

Individual Therapy, January 2018

The help you’ve given me has been invaluable

I just want to say a huge thank you for the past year. The help you’ve given me has been invaluable and I’ve learnt so much about myself, my past, and my relationship to the wider world. Your guidance and help will stand to me for the rest of my life and I’ve made so many positive changes in the past year, a lot of which I feel I owe to you. Thank you so much for everything.

Individual Therapy, May 2017