About Catherine, Relationships After Kids Expert Therapist & Coach
About Catherine
Relationship therapist, coach, writer, speaker, and married mum of two
I’m Catherine Topham Sly, and I help people build happier, more connected relationships – with their partners, their families, and themselves.
As a BACP accredited relationship therapist and coach, I support individuals and couples through the messy, beautiful, often-challenging terrain of life after kids. Whether I’m offering in-depth therapy, coaching clients through the Love Happy Live Free programme, or speaking about the emotional load and intimacy after children, my aim is the same: to help you feel more understood, more empowered, and more connected – to yourself and to the people you love.
Long-term relationships don’t succeed on luck. They’re built on understanding, self-awareness, and the willingness to do the work – even when it’s hard. And I know from both lived experience and clinical training that we can learn how to do that work in a way that actually brings us closer.
But I didn’t always know this.
Let me tell you how I got here.
How I Got Here
I loved my husband, and we were in a pretty strong place before having children. Our relationship was important to me, and I’d always actively prioritised it. We usually got on well – and when we didn’t, we talked things through.
We survived having one baby, then another – all while renovating our first house and starting our businesses. Then we moved, and took on a bigger project. And under the stress, with two little kids, the cracks started to show.
Our ways of coping with the pressure were so different. I just wanted to talk about it – to feel heard and understood, to hear, “I know, it’s hard.” But the more I complained, the worse he felt, and the less he seemed to be there for me. Nothing makes a husband more miserable than an unhappy wife. But all I could see was him withdrawing, or getting angry about the fuss I was making.
I’ll never forget the moment when I realised something had to change. We were late for school, and my daughter’s shoe had gone missing – again. I totally lost it. I really shouted. I scared my little girls. And I had a flashback to a similar moment in my own childhood.
Holding back tears on the way home from the school run, I made a commitment. My children weren’t going to bear the brunt of the resentment I felt towards their dad. I was the adult. It was my responsibility to create a loving, peaceful, secure environment for them to grow up in.
I wish I could tell you everything changed that day. But it was more complicated than that.
I tried everything I could find in every relationship book I could get my hands on. I was determined – maybe a little stubborn – and I knew happiness was almost within reach. I just couldn’t let go of the belief that things could be better.
And eventually, they were.
The turning point was when I truly understood that my relationship with myself was the foundation for every other relationship in my life. When I stopped trying to control or fix things from the outside in – and started taking radical responsibility for my own world.
I had to learn to love myself first – and I mean love the verb. To treat myself with the same compassion, kindness, and generosity I craved. To listen to my emotions, but not act them out. To take responsibility for how I show up. To recognise that I teach people how to treat me by what I accept, and what I don’t.
That’s when everything started to shift – in me, and in us.
Today, our relationship isn’t perfect – no relationship is. But it’s strong, peaceful, and real. We share the load like a team, without keeping score. We laugh more. We argue less – and when we do, we repair quickly. We both know how to rest. We’re always making plans. And maybe most importantly, we both feel free to be fully ourselves, safe in the knowledge that we’re loved, understood, and supported – even when things get hard.
Why I Do This Work
That transformation wasn’t just personal – it reshaped my whole professional path too.
I’d already started training as a therapist when my daughters were little. In fact, I began my counselling diploma when my eldest had just turned three and my youngest was eight months old – just weaning, still waking in the night. The course leader warned me it was going to be intense, but I was up for the challenge.
Becoming a therapist during the early years of motherhood was a powerful experience. As I trained, I noticed how little we talk about what becoming parents actually does to a relationship – especially when it comes to the emotional load, communication breakdowns, and the slow drift of disconnection.
So I started talking about it. At first, on Instagram. Then in workshops, talks, and articles. And most of all, in the therapy room – where I found more and more of my clients were struggling with exactly these challenges.
Couples who loved each other, but felt stuck. Women who felt like they were the emotional glue holding everything together. Parents trying to do it all – and losing themselves in the process.
It became clear: relationships after kids need their own kind of support. And that’s what I’ve spent the last decade specialising in.
If this sounds familiar, and you’re ready to get support that fits real life after kids…
Therapy, Coaching, and What It’s Like to Work With Me
I’ve supported hundreds of individuals and couples to break painful patterns, rediscover their connection, and build the kind of home life they want for themselves and their kids.
Some clients work with me through weekly therapy, using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) – the most well-researched and effective model for couples work – to understand the deeper emotional dynamics driving their conflict and distance. Others complete Love Happy Live Free, my relationship coaching programme, designed to guide you step-by-step through the mindset, skills, and habits that make love after kids not just possible, but deeply fulfilling.
Whichever path is right for you, you’ll find the same things here:
- A non-judgemental space to explore what’s really going on
- Practical tools you can use straight away
- A sense of clarity and hope about what’s possible for you
Because this work isn’t about blame.
It’s about understanding. And then deciding what you want to do with that understanding.
My Background and Experience
Before becoming a therapist, I worked at a communications consultancy, managing people and projects, and developing my listening skills as a market research focus group facilitator and trainer. My academic background is in linguistics, with a focus on psycholinguistics and sociolinguistics: what we say, how we say it, and what it reveals about our inner world and relationships.
But it was through my own life and training that I found what really lit me up: helping people talk about the things that truly matter, with more honesty, kindness, and clarity than they ever have before.
Since qualifying in 2014, I’ve gone on to train extensively in couples work, particularly in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). I’m an accredited member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), and a registered member of the International Centre for Excellence in EFT (ICEEFT).
I’ve worked in private practice since 2016, and also speak and write regularly about relationships, emotional labour, intimacy, and love after kids. I’m passionate about making this work more accessible, less clinical, and more human.
Want to know more about how I can support you?
Explore My Work
Whether you’re looking for personal support or want to bring this message to a wider audience, here’s where to start:
- Work With Me Solo — for individuals who are ready to create change, with or without their partner
- Work With Me Together — for couples who want to reconnect and build a stronger partnership
- Media & Speaking — for event organisers, journalists or podcast hosts
- Contact Me — if you’re not sure which option is right, I’m happy to help
When you’re ready, I’m here.
2025 – Core Skills (Extended) Training in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (Stage 1), BEFT
2023 – Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy for Attachment Trauma, PESI UK
2022 – Externship in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, International Centre for Excellence in EFT
2019 – Certificate in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, EFT International School
2017-2018 – Certificate in Clinical Supervison, The Rock Clinic
2017 – Certificate in Working with Couples, The Link Centre
2014 – Transactional Analysis 101 Certificate, Northbrook College
2012-2014 – Postgraduate Diploma in Counselling and Therapy, Northbrook College
2011 – NCFE Level 2 Award in Helping Skills, City College Brighton and Hove
2011 – CPCAB Level 2 Award in Introduction to Counselling Skills, Varndean College
2003-2006 – BA Hons Linguistics (2:1), University of Sussex
2016-Present – Counsellor in private practice, Insight & Connection (formerly Hove Counselling & Therapy)
2013-2018 – Counsellor, Rock Clinic Association, Brighton
2006-2010 – Workshop facilitator and trainer, Space Doctors, Brighton
2022 – Registered member of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy
2018 – Accredited member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy
2016 – Registered Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy