The transition to life as parents puts huge pressure on parents. It’s very common to feel resentment towards your partner, especially if your life has changed more than theirs. In fact when I asked on Instagram, 96% of you said you struggle with resentment. So is it normal to resent your partner after having a baby? Does it matter if you do? And what can you do about it? Read on to find out.
Is It Normal To Resent Your Partner After Having A Baby?
Is it normal to feel resentment towards your partner once you become parents?
It’s normal to feel the full spectrum of emotions.
It’s normal to feel angry, sad, surprised, afraid, disgusted, happy… and everything else, every day!
BUT there’s a difference between having moments of resentment, and getting stuck in a state of chronic resentment.
(By chronic, I mean persistent, recurring, unresolved.)
You’re more likely to get stuck feeling resentful if you accept it as a normal part of life as parents. If you think, “this is just how it is once you have kids”.
If you agree that “it’s normal to resent your partner after having a baby”, this is an example of a limiting belief.
A limiting belief is anything you think to be true that holds you back in some way.
So yes, it’s normal to resent your partner sometimes, especially after having a baby.
But that feeling is a messenger about what you need.
When You Accept Resentment As Normal, You Both Miss Out – And So Do Your Kids
If you’re accepting resentment as just a normal part of being in a relationship and/or raising kids together, you and your partner are both missing out.
You’re both missing out on opportunities to feel closer, and get on better. (And your kids are missing out on all the benefits of having parents who are truly connected.)
Because that’s what happens when we listen to our feelings and state our needs: we’re happier, and more relaxed, and easier to get along with.
I know you want a happy, satisfying relationship with your partner. You want it because it’s the future you dreamed about. And you want it because you know it will provide a strong foundation for your kids.
This is why I’ve written a free guide to resolving resentment. It will talk you through:
- Why it’s so common to resent your partner after having a baby
- What you need to do to change it (an easy 7-step plan)
Click the link to download yours and get started feeling more relaxed and contented with your partner today.
Does It Matter If You Resent Your Partner After Having A Baby?
Repeat after me: my feelings matter.
MY FEELINGS MATTER.
Can you say it out loud?
MY FEELINGS MATTER
MY FEELINGS MATTER
MY FEELINGS MATTER.
Let me tell you, it matters when you feel sad.
It matters when you feel happy.
It matters when you feel scared.
And it matters that you feel resentful.
Take Your Feelings Seriously – Including Resentment
When other people (parents, caregivers, partners) have dismissed or invalidated our feelings, we sometimes start to dismiss or invalidate them too.
I’m not interested in blaming anyone; I’m interested in making things better.
These days, most of us know better than our parents did.
We know that we need to listen to our children, and take them seriously.
How are you doing at listening to yourself?
How are you doing at taking yourself seriously?
Your feelings matter.
Your resentment matters.
Feelings Are Messengers About Needs
Feelings are how we know that something needs to change.
So “I feel cold” = I need to put a jumper on.
“I feel hungry” = I need something to eat.
“I feel lonely” = I need company, connection, to feel seen and understood.
And as for “I feel resentful”… what does it mean?
Download my free guide to resolving resentment and find out what you need to feel better today.
Your feelings matter. Take yours seriously and start making that change today.