If you’re quietly Googling “is it normal to resent your partner after having a baby”, you’re not alone, and you’re not failing. This blog post explores why resentment after having a baby is so common, the difference between occasional and chronic resentment, and what really happens when we normalise it instead of addressing it. More importantly, it shows you how to take resentment seriously – not as a problem with you or your partner, but as a signal that something needs to change – so you can build a stronger relationship and a calmer, happier family life.

 

Navigating Resentment in Relationships After Having a Baby

 

Entering parenthood is a life-altering experience. It can bring immense joy – and it also places relationships under pressure in ways many couples don’t expect. One common struggle faced by new parents is resentment towards their partner. Resentment after having a baby often creeps in quietly, building through exhaustion, unspoken expectations, and the relentless mental load of daily life.

In fact, when I asked on Instagram, 96% of you said you struggle with resentment. So is it normal to resent your partner after having a baby? Does it matter if you do? What does resentment actually mean – beyond “I’m annoyed with you”? And what can you do about it?

In this blog post, we’ll explore whether it’s normal to resent your partner after having a baby, the difference between occasional and chronic resentment, and the consequences of accepting resentment as “just part of parenthood”. We’ll also look at how resentment can be understood as useful information – a sign that important needs are going unmet – and how that understanding can become the starting point for real change.

 

Is It Normal to Feel Resentment Towards Your Partner After Having A Baby?

 

Yes!

It’s normal to feel the full spectrum of emotions – especially during the early months and years of parenthood.

It’s normal to feel angry, sad, surprised, afraid, overwhelmed, disconnected, happy… often all in the same day.

Resenting your partner after having a baby doesn’t mean you chose the wrong person, that your relationship is broken, or that you’re not coping. It usually means you’re stretched thin, carrying a lot, and trying to adapt to a huge identity and lifestyle shift.

 

The Difference Between Occasional and Chronic Resentment

 

Here’s where this question really matters:

There’s a difference between having moments of resentment and living in a state of chronic resentment.

(By chronic, I mean persistent, recurring, and unresolved.)

Occasional resentment is human. Chronic resentment is a sign that something important has been left unspoken, unsupported, or unchanged for too long.

You’re far more likely to get stuck in resentment if you accept it as a normal and inevitable part of life after kids – if you tell yourself, “This is just how relationships are once you become parents.”

When people say, “It’s normal to resent your partner after having a baby”, this can turn into a limiting belief.

A limiting belief is anything you accept as true that keeps you stuck.

So yes, it’s normal to feel resentful sometimes, especially after having a baby.

But resentment isn’t something to ignore or tolerate. It’s a messenger about your needs.

 

The Consequences of Accepting Resentment as Normal: The Impact on Your Relationship and Your Kids

 

If resentment becomes something you simply live with, both you and your partner miss out.

You miss out on closeness, ease, affection, teamwork, and feeling genuinely supported. Over time, resentment doesn’t just sit quietly in the background – it leaks out through irritation, emotional distance, reduced intimacy, or constant low-level tension.

And yes, your kids are affected too. Not because you’re doing something wrong – you’re both coping with a difficult situation the best way you know how right now – but because children absorb the emotional tone of their home.

When parents feel heard, supported, and connected, family life feels calmer and emotionally safer for everyone.

This is why resentment after having a baby matters. Not because either you or your partner is to blame, but because it’s drawing your attention to something that needs care and support.

 

Why Your Feelings, Including Resentment, Matter

 

Repeat after me: my feelings matter.

Again: MY FEELINGS MATTER!

It matters when you feel sad.

It matters when you feel happy.

It matters when you feel scared.

And yes, it matters when you feel resentful towards your partner after having a baby.

Resentment isn’t a character flaw. It’s often the emotional result of unmet needs, invisible labour, unequal responsibility, or a feeling of loss of your sense of self that hasn’t been acknowledged yet.

 

Taking Your Feelings Seriously

 

When other people (e.g. parents, caregivers, partners) have dismissed or minimised our feelings, we often learn to do the same to ourselves.

I’m not interested in blaming anyone. I’m interested in how you can get the change you need.

Most of us now understand how important it is to listen to children and take their emotions seriously.

But many adults – especially parents – are still very adept at ignoring their own.

So let me ask you gently:

How good are you at listening to yourself?

How seriously do you take your own inner experience?

Your feelings matter.

The resentment you feel matters.

 

Recognising Resentment as a Messenger

 

Feelings exist to tell us that something needs attention.

“I feel cold” = I need a jumper.

“I feel hungry” = I need food.

“I feel lonely” = I need connection.

So when you find yourself thinking, “I resent my partner since having a baby”, the real question becomes:

What needs have been going unmet for too long?

That’s where change begins – not by blaming yourself or your partner, but by getting curious, honest, and compassionate about what needs to shift.

 

Is It Normal To Resent Your Partner After Having A Baby? Additional Resources to Help With Resentment in Relationships

 

So, yes, it is normal to feel resentment towards your partner after having a baby.

But it’s not something you have to accept as permanent, inevitable, or “just how it is now”.

Resentment becomes a problem when it’s ignored, minimised, or normalised – because that’s when it erodes connection and wellbeing.

When you take resentment seriously, and treat it as information rather than a failure, it can become the starting point for a stronger, more honest, more supportive relationship.

If you want support with this, I’ve created a free guide to resolving resentment that walks you through:

• why resentment after having a baby is so common

• how to identify what’s really going on underneath it

• and the first practical steps towards change

But here’s the most important things I want you to take away: Your resentment is not the problem. Ignoring it is.

 

You Might Also Find Helpful:

 

If you found this article about whether it’s normal to feel resentment towards your partner helpful, you might like to check these out too:

 

• How To Resolve Resentment in Relationships: Tackling Shared Responsibilities
• How To Deal With Resentment Towards Your Partner
• The Contented Relationship Guide – a short course on moving from resentment to contentment

 

You can also click here to join my mailing list, or click here to get in touch.