Sex After Kids: Reconnect, Rekindle, and Rediscover Intimacy After Parenthood

Parenthood changes everything – including your sex life. But you can get the closeness back.

“This gentle and supportive workbook is a powerful companion for couples navigating intimacy after children. It feels as though Catherine is right there beside you, offering understanding, hope, and direction. Through self reflection, curiosity, and conversation, it helps couples find their way back to connection in a deeply personal and accessible way. A must-have for this stage of life!”

– Patrizia Jones, Emotionally Focused Integrative Therapist (MBACP)

A Relationship Therapist’s Guide to Sex After Kids

Back in 2020, when we were all stuck inside, I was posting on Instagram a lot – writing about how to stay connected while raising kids, manage the mental load, and avoid the resentment loops that tear couples apart. But there was one topic that always blew up my DMs: sex. Every time I mentioned it, parents messaged me saying they felt lost, frustrated, and stuck.

And of course they did! Parenthood changes everything: our bodies, our sleep, our time, and how we see ourselves and each other. It’s natural for sex to fall down the list for a while, but when the weeks turn into months, or even years, it can start to feel harder to find our way back.

I kept thinking: someone needs to explain this stuff properly, with compassion and actual tools that work. So I wrote a sex after kids workbook, and I called it Back in the Sack. I carefully crafted it to support those same parents who had messaged me (and the ones who were too shy to, but I knew were feeling the same) to go on their own personal journey from confusion, resentment, loneliness, and guilt, to understanding, compassion, and confidence. 

“This is a hugely useful book for any couples who have fallen out of the habit of sex and want to change that.”

– Anne Power, Attachment Couples Therapist

Since then, I’ve had so many messages from readers telling me how helpful it’s been – whether they’ve worked through it alone or together. And I’ve also had the privilege of supporting a number of individuals and couples through it in relationship therapy and coaching sessions.

They’ve learned how to break the patterns that keep couples stuck, to understand why sex matters, and how to prioritise it again. They’ve worked through their own blocks to intimacy, rediscovered playfulness, and grown in confidence talking about sex – sometimes using my scripts, sometimes writing their own.

But something kept niggling at me. Every time I opened the workbook, I realised what was missing: a section on female pleasure, and how truly understanding it can transform sex for women and men. And as I completed my training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), I saw even more clearly how emotional connection is the true foundation of physical intimacy. Back in the Sack didn’t just need expanding – it needed deepening.

So finally, five years later, I sat down and rewrote the whole thing. And where the first edition was deeply helpful, this second one has the power to be life-changing. I say that with confidence because, in my determination to make it the best it could be, I consulted a number of fellow relationship therapists while writing it – you’ll find some of their feedback throughout this page. With their insight and encouragement, I’ve created the guide I wish every parent had: a way back to closeness, pleasure, and connection through deeper understanding, self-reflection, and expert-guided conversations.

“If you and your partner are finding it hard to reconnect physically after having children, Back in the Sack is a practical workbook designed to help. It’s easy to pick up in bite-sized moments during those rare pockets of quiet. As a psychotherapist, I can recommend using it either on its own or alongside couples therapy for extra support.”

– Alison Bickers, BABCP Accredited Psychotherapist

Why Sex Feels Different After Having Children (and What You Can Do About It)

Parenthood can make everything feel like work – even staying connected with your partner.

If sex feels like one more thing on your to-do list, you’re not alone.

Back in the Sack helps you change that, one honest conversation and small moment of connection at a time.

Emotional and Physical Connection: The Heart of a Healthy Relationship After Kids

This isn’t a “get your spark back in seven days” kind of thing.

It’s a workbook for real people: parents who are tired, touched-out, trying their best… and still want to feel close again.

Inside, you’ll find everything you need to start rebuilding connection – mentally, emotionally, and physically – at a pace that feels right for you.

“Catherine’s workbook is a wonderfully supportive resource for couples wanting to reconnect and understand what might have changed in their sexual relationship. Her empathetic and knowledgeable tone immediately put the reader at ease, normalising what can often feel like a sensitive or even shameful topic.

I really appreciate how the workbook encourages you to get to know yourself first – your needs, fears, patterns – and then gently guides you towards sharing that understanding with your partner. The reflective questions invite honest exploration and offer insight in a way that feels compassionate and non-judgmental.

Sex can be a hard subject to approach, even in therapy, and Catherine’s thoughtful, grounded guidance provides exactly the kind of space needed to begin those conversations and move towards greater intimacy and connection.”

– Sally Wright, Couples Counsellor and Psychotherapist

What’s Inside the Back in the Sack Sex After Kids Workbook 2nd edition

Explore What’s Changed – and How to Rebuild Intimacy After Parenthood

• • What’s really changed since becoming parents – and why it’s not your fault that intimacy feels different now
  • The typical pattern couples get stuck in – and how to gently break it
  • How emotional intimacy leads to physical intimacy – using principles from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
  • What blocks desire – from exhaustion to resentment, and how to work through it with compassion, not pressure
  • How to talk about sex – without blame, awkwardness, or shutting down
  • Female pleasure and the orgasm gap – why it matters, and how to close it together
  • Your body, your needs, and your new normal – discovering what feels good now

What You’ll Get – Tools, Prompts, and Scripts to Improve Intimacy After Kids

• • 30+ journaling and discussion prompts to help you reflect, talk, and reconnect
  • Conversation scripts to make those first awkward talks easier
  • Practical tools for moving from co-parents to lovers again
  • Two beautifully designed versions: 

• • • Printable journal edition – with space to write, reflect, and revisit (alone or together)
      
    • Phone-screen edition – so you can start understanding what you need to feel close again now

Learn How to Reconnect Sexually and Emotionally as Parents

Sex after kids isn’t about going back – it’s about finding a new way forwards.

A way that fits who you are now, in the life you’re living now.

Feedback on the 1st edition of Back in the Sack 👇🏼

FAQs – Everything You Need to Know About Sex and Intimacy After Kids

Is this workbook suitable if I’m doing it on my own?

Absolutely. Back in the Sack is designed to be completed either solo or with a partner, and will support you to make powerful shifts either way. You can reflect privately first, make some changes on your own, then share what feels helpful later. Many readers find that doing it alone helps them gain confidence and clarity before opening up the conversation.

What if I’m not/my partner isn’t interested in sex right now?

That’s really common, and it’s one of the reasons I wrote this. The workbook will help you understand what’s happening underneath the surface, including how desire develops (both physically and emotionally). It will also support you to open up new ways of connecting. Usually, emotional closeness comes first, and desire often follows naturally from there.

Is it just for heterosexual couples?

Not at all. While some examples refer to men and women for clarity, the principles apply to all couples. The focus is on understanding yourself, your partner, and the emotional patterns that affect intimacy.

How is this different from other “sex after kids” guides?

This isn’t a quick-fix or a list of positions – it’s a compassionate, therapeutic workbook grounded in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). It helps you understand why sex feels hard right now and how to rebuild connection, trust, and desire from the inside out.

How will I receive the workbook?

As an instant download, and you’ll get two beautifully designed versions:

• • A printable journal edition with space to write and reflect
  • A phone-friendly edition so you can start reading now, and easily get back to it whenever it suits you

What if I want more help afterwards?

If you’d like support working through what comes up, you can reach out to me directly. I offer relationship therapy and coaching for individuals and couples – solo or together. You can contact me here to arrange a free chat about what would be most helpful.

Get Professional Support to Reignite Intimacy After Parenthood

Get curious. Get close. Get back in the sack.

Download Back in the Sack 2nd edition now, and start finding your way back to each other today.